Unhealthy Addiction

I really meant to begin this journey much sooner, but the dreams I have been having have been really personal and have not been things that I have been willing to share with the general internet population.  Maybe in the future I can go back and write about them, but as of right now, I am just not ready.

Last night’s dream was probably one of the lamest and weirdest dreams I’ve had, but I think I can use the very few odd details of the dream to create a little story here.  Please bear with me as this is my first attempt at writing anything creatively that anyone other than my best friend will read.  I also do not intend to edit any of this before I post it, so I apologize for typos or grammar mistakes. 

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Traveling always made me thirsty.  I don’t know if it was the dry air in the aircraft or just sheer boredom, but every single time we traveled, I needed to get a beverage before we boarded the plane.  I also had an unhealthy addiction to diet Mountain Dew and these stupid airlines seemed to only ever carry Coke products.  I knew Jacob was exhausted with my constant bad mood and whining, but he wheeled me into the airport convenience store anyway, willing to do anything to appease me.

Since my accident, I had become unbearable to be around.  I hated being in that stupid wheelchair.  I missed the days of being able to run freely.  I missed hiking, jogging, being able to get my own damn diet Mountain Dew.  I had to go to group therapy to deal with my feelings about the accident and my “handicap,” but it didn’t help.  I had such a bad attitude that nobody in group eve wanted to talk to me.  I didn’t even know why Jacob wanted to travel with me. 

This convenience store was the strangest store I had ever been in.  It resembled a gas station store more than it did an airport store.  Except the aisles were much too small for my wheelchair to fit down.  It also appeared that the convenience store clerk would have to retrieve whatever items you asked for, as there was a menu at the front of the store listing the store’s inventory.  It seemed very peculiar to me. 

I browsed the “menu” until I found a red and white sign advertising my liquid gold, diet Mountain Dew.  Scanning quickly, I could see that two 6-packs of soda was $7.97.  Great, but I didn’t need that much.  A 2-liter bottle was $1.49.  Getting warmer.  Three 20-ounce bottles were an even $4.00.  Nowhere did it have the price for just one 20-ounce bottle.  I guessed that was what the clerk was there for.

I tried having idle chatter with Jacob until it was our turn in line, but he was still mad at me earlier for some argument we had gotten into over the Big Bang Theory.  Not the television show, but the actual Big Bang Theory.  Jacob was a science nerd.  I had no idea why we were friends.  When we finally made our way to the counter, the clerk, whose name tag read “Gladys” asked if she could help us.

“How much is one of the twenty ounce bottles of diet Mountain Dew?” I asked as politely as I could.

“Did you read the board?” Gladys, asked peering at me over her thin glasses.

I took in a deep breath.  I would not lose my temper.  “Yes, Gladys, I did, but it only gives the prices for three of them, a two liter, and two six packs.  I only need one twenty ounce bottle,” I smiled, hoping that my innocent pink lip gloss had not rubbed off and that my large blue eyes seemed sweet enough for her to help me.

“Well, if it’s not on the board, we don’t sell it,” Gladys snidely remarked.

“But Gladys,” I protested, “if you sell three of them, surely you can sell just one.  That’s really all I need.  I am strapped for cash and cannot afford three of them.” 

Gladys was a tough crowd.  Usually people felt sorry for me because of my wheelchair, but it seemed like she was being extra hateful toward me just because I was disabled. 

“Well, we might be able to sell just one, but I don’t know the price,” Gladys yawned as if she was already bored with me.  A line was starting to form behind us. 

Jacob was getting embarrassed.  “Come on, Kate, let’s just get three and get out of here.”

“Yeah, Kate,” Gladys retorted.  “Just get three and get the hell out of here.”

“Gladys,” I seethed.  “I only want one.  Please go back and get the price for just the one and I will pay for it.”

Gladys smiled a fake smile, her bright red lipstick smeared on her teeth.  “Well, Kate, why don’t you walk back there and look for yourself? Oh wait, you can’t!”

She started laughing hysterically as a gasp echoed through the crowd forming behind us.  I began to see red.  Once I lost my temper, there was no stopping me.  Jacob knew this, yet he did not try to get me out of the store.  Perhaps he was curious to see what would happen next, just like all of the other bystanders. 

Gladys continued laughing as she walked away from the desk and prepared to assist someone else in the store.  She was going to completely ignore my request.  I did not like being ignored.  I could handle people being rude but I could not handle the silent treatment.  What happened next was a blur.  I only remember the order of events because I watched the surveillance video. 

As Gladys walked past me, I turned my wheelchair around and followed her.  She had to get down in the floor to help a customer get something.  Her leg was sticking out.  I could have just ran over it and injured her.  But I didn’t.  I tore the rubber from the wheel of my wheelchair, exposing the sharpest piece of metal.  That’s when I ran over her leg.  I backed up the chair and ran over it again and again until someone stopped me.  I’m told I almost severed her leg completely from her body.  I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn’t even hear her scream.  Blood was everywhere; all over Gladys, all over the customer, all over me.  I didn't mind the blood.  

I did feel bad for my actions; not only because I harmed another person, but also because I missed my trip with Jacob.  I just really wanted that diet Mountain Dew.  Someone did eventually go down the aisle and get me a single bottle of diet Mountain Dew.  They even paid for it for me.  I drank it while I waited for TSA to come and arrest me.  I always knew it was an unhealthy addiction.