I
really meant to begin this journey much sooner, but the dreams I have been
having have been really personal and have not been things that I have been
willing to share with the general internet population. Maybe in the future I can go back and write
about them, but as of right now, I am just not ready.
Last
night’s dream was probably one of the lamest and weirdest dreams I’ve had, but
I think I can use the very few odd details of the dream to create a little
story here. Please bear with me as this
is my first attempt at writing anything creatively that anyone other than my
best friend will read. I also do not
intend to edit any of this before I post it, so I apologize for typos or
grammar mistakes.
____________________________________________________________________________
Traveling
always made me thirsty. I don’t know if
it was the dry air in the aircraft or just sheer boredom, but every single time
we traveled, I needed to get a beverage before we boarded the plane. I also had an unhealthy addiction to diet
Mountain Dew and these stupid airlines seemed to only ever carry Coke
products. I knew Jacob was exhausted
with my constant bad mood and whining, but he wheeled me into the airport convenience
store anyway, willing to do anything to appease me.
Since
my accident, I had become unbearable to be around. I hated being in that stupid wheelchair. I missed the days of being able to run
freely. I missed hiking, jogging, being
able to get my own damn diet Mountain Dew.
I had to go to group therapy to deal with my feelings about the accident
and my “handicap,” but it didn’t help. I
had such a bad attitude that nobody in group eve wanted to talk to me. I didn’t even know why Jacob wanted to travel
with me.
This
convenience store was the strangest store I had ever been in. It resembled a gas station store more than it
did an airport store. Except the aisles
were much too small for my wheelchair to fit down. It also appeared that the convenience store
clerk would have to retrieve whatever items you asked for, as there was a menu
at the front of the store listing the store’s inventory. It seemed very peculiar to me.
I
browsed the “menu” until I found a red and white sign advertising my liquid
gold, diet Mountain Dew. Scanning
quickly, I could see that two 6-packs of soda was $7.97. Great, but I didn’t need that much. A 2-liter bottle was $1.49. Getting warmer. Three 20-ounce bottles were an even
$4.00. Nowhere did it have the price for
just one 20-ounce bottle. I guessed that
was what the clerk was there for.
I
tried having idle chatter with Jacob until it was our turn in line, but he was
still mad at me earlier for some argument we had gotten into over the Big Bang
Theory. Not the television show, but the
actual Big Bang Theory. Jacob was a
science nerd. I had no idea why we were
friends. When we finally made our way to
the counter, the clerk, whose name tag read “Gladys” asked if she could help us.
“How
much is one of the twenty ounce bottles of diet Mountain Dew?” I asked as
politely as I could.
“Did
you read the board?” Gladys, asked peering at me over her thin glasses.
I
took in a deep breath. I would not lose
my temper. “Yes, Gladys, I did, but it
only gives the prices for three of them, a two liter, and two six packs. I only need one twenty ounce bottle,” I
smiled, hoping that my innocent pink lip gloss had not rubbed off and that my
large blue eyes seemed sweet enough for her to help me.
“Well,
if it’s not on the board, we don’t sell it,” Gladys snidely remarked.
“But
Gladys,” I protested, “if you sell three of them, surely you can sell just one. That’s really all I need. I am strapped for cash and cannot afford
three of them.”
Gladys
was a tough crowd. Usually people felt
sorry for me because of my wheelchair, but it seemed like she was being extra
hateful toward me just because I was disabled.
“Well,
we might be able to sell just one, but I don’t know the price,” Gladys yawned
as if she was already bored with me. A
line was starting to form behind us.
Jacob
was getting embarrassed. “Come on, Kate,
let’s just get three and get out of here.”
“Yeah,
Kate,” Gladys retorted. “Just get three
and get the hell out of here.”
“Gladys,”
I seethed. “I only want one. Please go back and get the price for just the
one and I will pay for it.”
Gladys
smiled a fake smile, her bright red lipstick smeared on her teeth. “Well, Kate, why don’t you walk back there
and look for yourself? Oh wait, you can’t!”
She
started laughing hysterically as a gasp echoed through the crowd forming behind
us. I began to see red. Once I lost my temper, there was no stopping
me. Jacob knew this, yet he did not try
to get me out of the store. Perhaps he
was curious to see what would happen next, just like all of the other
bystanders.
Gladys
continued laughing as she walked away from the desk and prepared to assist
someone else in the store. She was going
to completely ignore my request. I did
not like being ignored. I could handle
people being rude but I could not handle the silent treatment. What happened next was a blur. I only remember the order of events because I
watched the surveillance video.
As
Gladys walked past me, I turned my wheelchair around and followed her. She had to get down in the floor to help a
customer get something. Her leg was
sticking out. I could have just ran over
it and injured her. But I didn’t. I tore the rubber from the wheel of my
wheelchair, exposing the sharpest piece of metal. That’s when I ran over her leg. I backed up the chair and ran over it again
and again until someone stopped me. I’m
told I almost severed her leg completely from her body. I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn’t
even hear her scream. Blood was
everywhere; all over Gladys, all over the customer, all over me. I didn't mind the blood.
I
did feel bad for my actions; not only because I harmed another person, but also because I
missed my trip with Jacob. I just really wanted that diet Mountain Dew. Someone
did eventually go down the aisle and get me a single bottle of diet Mountain Dew. They even paid for it for me. I drank it while I waited for TSA to come and arrest me. I always knew it was an unhealthy
addiction.
